So you'd like to

So you'd like to think that you're cultured enough to live without television, wouldn't you? I mean, when acquaintances begin to talk about Trista or Bob or those sickly, sickly girls on that top-model show, you always smirk and roll your eyes, am I right? You hate it when people refer to Rachel and Ross without clarification, don't you? And so if the cable access that you had happened to be getting for free for the past four years just finally happened to get shut off last Thursday at 4:37PM, you'd probably just go on living your life as if it didn't matter, no?

Yeah, you're the sort of person who would feel that they were better off for it, I bet.

Heck, you wouldn't even miss that cute Justine Shapiro on Globe Trekker or the witty banter between Chris and Bridget at America's Test Kitchen or your smart friend Jon over at the Daily Show. Oh, you'd probably forget all about how Dave is so much better than Jay, right? And you wouldn't even bother to think about how much it's going to cost to get your basic service turned back on, or what you'll do with yourself until the cable company gets the signal going again, or even if you're somehow about to be punished severely for all those free years of coming home to that sweet, sweet, wonderful telee.

Nah, you're the sort of person who'd just pick up a book. Or unclog your drains. Or cultivate a new allergy.

And frankly, honestly, candidly, you're probably not someone I would hang out with a whole lot. I just don't see it happening. No sir. People with too many allergies make me suspicious.