I've been silent about

I've been silent about this too long. It's time to clear my chest:

First, why does the U.S. Congress have nothing better to do during wartime than to snub the French by renaming side dishes? Freedom fries? Really? Freedom fries? French fries aren't even from France, you jackasses! They're Belgian! And besides, Americans are the only idiots who call them French Fries in the first place! What's next, lawmakers propose a bill that requires Black Forest Cake to be renamed to Liberty Pastry?

Ah, good, I feel a little better. Now, onto my next beef: people who say it's not right to criticize the President in wartime. So, what, anyone who formulates a bad plan is immediately let off the hook once that plan is in action? Listen, I'm not about to support any leader who thinks guilty-until-proven-innocent is a good foreign policy, no matter how many troops have already been deployed.

Finally, and most importantly, enough with the hypocrisy. Does anyone realize how ridiculous it is for U.S. government officials to be warning the Iraqis to support the Geneva Conventions when they themselves aren't adhering to the guidelines? Obviously I don't want U.S. troops treated poorly -- just as I don't want Iraqis treated poorly -- but the point is: you can't exempt yourself from war crimes tribunals while holding prisoners captive at Guantanamo Bay without sufficient reason and then expect everyone else to play by a different rulebook. That's not leadership, it's legal tyranny.

I take it back -- I don't feel any better.