Life under the new

Life under the new airport security screening procedures:

The Flight There: I stood in line for half an hour just to get to the security screening where I passed through the metal detector without problem, but had to turn on my laptop for the security agent, and had to have my bag analyzed for traces of bomb-making materials.

The Flight Back: I stood in line for five minutes before getting to the security screening where I was told to put my "billfold" through the luggage scanner, was pulled aside for setting off the metal detector, and had to stand in another line for several minutes before being taken to a chair where I was screened with a wand and had to wait another five minutes while a "runner" carried my shoes back to the luggage scanner. No mention of the laptop or luggage.

The Kicker: I was carrying the same luggage and wearing the same clothes on both flights. The only difference was the underwear, the t-shirt, and a slightly smaller amount of toothpaste on the return trip.

So much for standardizing the screening process.