a tad too poetic

Notes likely given by a wayward editor to Khaled Hosseini, author of The Kite Runner, at some point between the book's second and third revisions:

• Thanks for working on your sentences to make things more "clear," re my earlier suggestion. But I wonder if they're still a tad too poetic. Bringing it down two or three (or four) more notches ought to do it.
• I'm not sure that readers will get that the Hitler-loving Talibani is EVIL. Seal the deal by, say, making him a baby-rapist, too.
• Foreshadowing: Learn it, love it, write it.
• Ohhh, I get it: You're doing a David and Goliath kind of thing there, right? Hmm, how about a slingshot to make that more clear?
• That part where the main character starts changing and acting differently? Too confusing. It's better if he stays the same so that readers recognize him.
• Remember, a drama isn't really a drama until it's got a suicide attempt.
• How about a big fight scene?
• Ooh -- one more word about the EVIL Talibani: Stoning. Two lovers. To death. In a stadium. Full of people cheering him on.
• Did I mention foreshadowing?
• If there's any way you could bring that slingshot back into the story at the climax, let's do it. God that would be so great!