CA Senator Dianne Feinstein

CA Senator Dianne Feinstein has weighed in on the issue of voting No on the Recall and Yes on Bustamante, and she calls it a "hypocrisy." Well, what else would you expect from someone who almost got recalled herself when she was mayor of San Francisco?

What doesn't make any sense at all, though, is Feinstein's insistence that she will vote No on the Recall and leave the second half of the ballot blank. Now that's just plain dumb.

Consider it this way: If the issues on this ballot were actually split into two separate elections -- one in which you would vote on the recall itself, and one held later to pick a new governor in the event that Davis did indeed get recalled -- wouldn't you go vote in both elections? Especially if you're a Democrat?

So why throw away your second vote just because both elections happen to be held on the same day and happen to share the same ballot? The only statement you'd be making there is that you're more than ready to throw away your vote to make a statement. And like I said, that's just plain dumb.

Running

This was not my idea initially, but I am supposed to ask you: Why do the Queer Eye guys always have to be running whenever they get out of their car?

Before You Start

Here's an important lesson for you technical types out there: Back up your database before you start adding new "features." This will save you some hair.

a bit tired

Oh come on now, you knew I wasn't going to withhold comment on this one forever:

Yessir, we folks here in California are well on our way toward a real honest-to-goodness, old-fashioned, darned-tootin' Recall Election if there ever was one (and there wasn't). So what to do, my friends? What to do?

First off, if you are a member of the press, we here at amit.asaravala.com kindly request that you stop making Total Recall references when referring to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not only have we heard it already (about 830 times the last time we looked) but we're also getting a bit tired of being reminded that our next governor may well be someone who once used to lift weights. In the nude. For a living. (Oh go search for the pictures yourself; this is a family show, dammit.)

Nevermind history, though. The publishers of this site are not the sort to look down their noses at someone's past or present profession. (Or at least when we do, we try not to stare too long.) Indeed, we believe it's this open-mindedness that has allowed us to do some long, hard research into porn star Mary Cary's bid for the governship. If you haven't been keeping up, this is the woman who has been poo-pooed by the press for offering to go on a dinner date with anyone who donates at least $5,000 to her campaign. But, we wonder, how is this so different from a $2,500-a-plate dinner with George W. Bush? (Sure, our President may no longer be a looker, but he's still a tease.)

Speaking of looking down our noses at candidates, did you know that it's not too late to order a Gary Coleman for Governor thong? We've been wearing ours all day and, my god, when will the chaffing stop?

Oh, we could go on and on about all the other Sideshow Bobs who have found their way into this race but, really, Larry Flynt jokes are just too easy to come by these days. Besides, that wouldn't leave us any room to talk about our friends, the Democrats. And what better way to start a discussion about California Democrats than to ask, where was this man on the day we all learned that the thumbs-up sign had gone out of fashion? It must be nice to be able to run into the people who used to beat you up on the playground and say, "Hey guys, I'm the Governor. For another six weeks. No really. Stop that. Hey, I said stop that!"

So who does that leave? Ah, yes, Cruz Bustamante. Cruz, Cruz, Cruz -- rather than showing up at the courthouse in a pricy, gas-guzzling Hummer or getting all the local network affiliates to cover your flashy pep rally, you chose to hold a press conference on the sidewalk of a middle-class neighborhood not too far from Sacramento where we presume you put together the fiscal plan that you presented to us that day (on CSPAN of all places). You explained all the dull, dull details about how you'd deal with the state's $8 billion deficit, and you even stuck around long after your advisor had told everyone that there would be more questions so that you could answer every last query -- even the tough ones, like how you felt about the issue of gay marriages. Heck, you even did it in clear, concise English. And Spanish.

Can you believe the nerve of that cheeky monkey? As if we actually cared about "the issues!"

Cruz, the truth is: we've got nothing on you. You're so serious that it frightens us. Perhaps you could pick up a nickname just to keep things lively. How about Cruz 'Busty' Bustamante? No? Okay, how about Cruz 'I - would - kick - Arnold's- ass - in - this - election - if - the - dumb - people - in - this - state - didn't - really - believe - that - he - actually - was - the - Terminator' Bustamante?

Oh come on, it could work. No? Oh, okay, you're probably right -- we nutty Californians wouldn't know what to do with a governor who had a plan that actually made sense.

improving

I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks the traffic around the San Francisco Bay Area has gotten unbearable recently. The Wife and I tried to make it back to the city from Hercules one Sunday evening not too long ago and found ourselves reading bumper stickers for nearly an hour and a half. (On a good night, you can get home in about thirty-five minutes.)

Personally, I suspect it's a sign that the economy is improving. You know: people have places to go, money to spend, gasoline to burn. Speaking of which, has anyone seen the gas prices lately?

stop feeling guilty

Wow, Bank of America now lets you view your cancelled checks online. Now I can stop feeling guilty about forgetting to record checks in my checkbook. (Not that I write a whole lot of checks these days with this whole online banking thing and all.)

number one

The number one comment uttered by the girlfriends and wives of the "remade" men on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy: "Oh. My. Gawd."

Phair strategy

Whether you like the pop sound of her new album or not, Liz Phair's strategy to make it into the mainstream seems to have worked. Today, I first received an email about San Francisco's Now and Zen Festival, at which Ms. Phair will be playing. Later, while flipping through the latest issue of the New Yorker, I spotted a casual reference to Phair at the end of one article. A few pages later, there was another reference in yet another article. And now, while catching up on some blogs, I see that Michael Barrish has posted his thoughts on the whole matter of Liz no longer being herself (or the self we once used to know.) It's pretty much official. She's taking over.

The problem with airport

The problem with airport security is that no matter how much money and technology you throw at the problem, it can all be undermined within minutes by a few incompetent employees. Take, for instance, the scene at Chicago's Midway Airport yesterday evening:

Upon arriving at the ticket counter, we noticed two clerks searching around for a lost boarding pass. Although clearly bothered by the pass's disappearance, the clerks decided to give up after having no luck querying a few bystanders.

Later, after we had passed through the security screening, we ran into one of the clerks again. This time, he was manning the gate and keeping an eye on the passengers in the waiting lounge. He called over one passenger in particular, who just happened to be walking by, and asked the man if he would double-check his boarding pass. Looking confused, the passenger retrieved his pass and scanned over it. "Wow," he said, "this isn't my name. It's not even close."

The clerk took the pass and set about printing a new one for the passenger. As he was typing away, he asked, "So how did you get past the security checkpoint with the wrong boarding pass? Didn't they look at your ID card?"

The passenger shrugged and explained that the security personnel did ask to see his ID card, but that they let him through anyway.

"Huh," said the clerk. "They're supposed to check for that sort of thing." Then he went on typing.