magic mushroom

The Wife found this oddity in a carton of mushrooms the other day. I made her throw it out. There's no way I'm letting a mutant mushroom get near my salad.

Seeing the little weirdo reminded me of one Saturday morning, a year or so ago, when I cracked an egg into a bowl and found three yolks inside. After tossing the triplets, I cracked another egg from the batch and found yet another three yolks jiggling up at me. Another egg, another trio of blondes.

This continued through all twelve eggs -- I kid you not.

Though the episode had me thoroughly creeped out, I must say that I am somewhat intrigued by the thought that, on some farm somewhere, there is a crotchety old hen that consistently lays triple-yolkers.

survive out there

It always starts the same way. First there's the tingle high in the back of the throat. This is followed almost immediately by a stuffy nose. And within the hour, I'm sneezing and looking for the Cold-Eeze.

By morning, it's a full-on cold.

This will be my third one in three and a half months. And I'm beginning to think I am the reason that Procter & Gamble's stock is on the up and up.

Take note, my friends: Going back to an office job after working from your safe, clean home for two years is one of the worst things you can do for your health. How the heck do all of you survive out there?

Oh well, at least I'll sleep soundly tonight knowing that the money I earn from my schemes will one day allow me to retire to a germ-free life.