a tad too poetic
Notes likely given by a wayward editor to Khaled Hosseini, author of The Kite Runner, at some point between the book's second and third revisions:
- Thanks for working on your sentences to make things more "clear," re my earlier suggestion. But I wonder if they're still a tad too poetic. Bringing it down two or three (or four) more notches ought to do it.
- I'm not sure that readers will get that the Hitler-loving Talibani is EVIL. Seal the deal by, say, making him a baby-rapist, too.
- Foreshadowing: Learn it, love it, write it.
- Ohhh, I get it: You're doing a David and Goliath kind of thing there, right? Hmm, how about a slingshot to make that more clear?
- That part where the main character starts changing and acting differently? Too confusing. It's better if he stays the same so that readers recognize him.
- Remember, a drama isn't really a drama until it's got a suicide attempt.
- How about a big fight scene?
- Ooh -- one more word about the EVIL Talibani: Stoning. Two lovers. To death. In a stadium. Full of people cheering him on.
- Did I mention foreshadowing?
- If there's any way you could bring that slingshot back into the story at the climax, let's do it. God that would be so great!
the grass is greener on our side
In the morning, when I left, there was nothing but a brown field. When I looked again, in the afternoon, a thin green carpet had come up through the soil.
Something from nothing: this is the joy of conspiring with nature.
(More dirt stories over at Sweat Equity, a house blog...)
