where your collar comes away

The weather has finally gotten to us. There is no other explanation for this mood we've been in for days. No fights. No rut. No irritating ways of sighing loudly when the other person commandeers the remote control. Just the sub-40-degree nights that blow in around the leaky doors and windows, just the black umbrellas, just the waking in the dark, just the eating breakfast in the dark, the leaving work in the dark, the coming home in the dark, and the thought of waking again tomorrow in the dark, just the chill wind, just the chill wind hitting you where your collar comes away from your neck as you stand waiting for the train, just the steamed windows of city buses, just the absence of shadows, just because, just all of this, just wanting no more of this and just the rain, the rain, the rain.

* * *

I've remembered another lesson I learned in 2005: There are many interesting and fun people in this world, but when it comes down to it, I am most impressed by those who possess the following two qualities:

• Kindness. Not simply politeness. Not diplomacy, though that's slightly better. But true kindness. The kind that doesn't exist on nearly the scale that it should. Once, in college, tired, hungry, and achingly lonely after friends, family, and even mere acquaintances had left town for the holidays, I wandered into the only sandwich shop within walking distance of my empty apartment and, upon seeing that the owner had already put everything away for the night, was so stunned that I could do nothing more than stare, the owner, perhaps deciding to take a chance, chose not to chase me out and instead told me to sit down and proceeded to turn the lights back on and retrieved the cold cuts from the fridge and the day-old bread from the bin and made me the driest, mealiest, yet wholly nourishing sandwich I suspect I will ever taste. That kind of kindness.
• Competence. Anyone can run a business and manage to get by. Anyone can write software and come up with a decently functioning program. Anyone can pour coffee and get it in the cup. But do it with skill -- do it so that everyone in the company is working toward the same goal, do it so that the program is not only elegant but solves a difficult problem, do it so that the brew is fresh, the liquid hot, and the lid snapped tight around the cup when you hand it to me -- and you will have my respect.